My silver linings of 2020

Amidst all the chaos this 2020, I’ve found many silver linings that I am very thankful for. It’s true when they say you need a breakdown before you experience a breakthrough. 2020 was my year for growth and progress, and it wasn’t at all easy. Through many negative spirals and a lot (A LOT) of tears, I managed to recognise and unlearn many old, toxic habits, and began opening my mind to new, healthy perspectives towards my life.

For the first time in my life, I can say that I feel truly secure with myself. The biggest lesson last year was that I am my biggest priority, and I needed to be kinder to myself. I discovered that the only thing holding me back from happiness was myself. Being aware of this power I hold, I’ve been able to project more positive energy into the people and things I love, and in turn attract more positivity into my life too.

Read also: It’s okay to not be okay.

I learnt to love myself.

This was a huge milestone for me. I never really understood what self-love really meant, but I knew I wanted and supported it. In 2020, I finally realised how I was projecting my insecurities on everything around me. I gained a lot more clarity on how I was speaking and treating myself. I made a huge personal breakthrough when I understood how to prioritise my own needs, how to leave my anxieties or insecurities behind, and how to grow into the stronger version of myself that I am now.

Read also: Reminder: You’re 100% in control of your life

I found myself closer to my family.

An unexpected outcome from the whole pandemic in 2020 was how much closer I got with my family, and especially my sisters. I was always a homebody, but circuit breaker was on a different level. I got to spend so much time with my family, beyond just sharing meals together, or spending one weekend in our respective bedrooms. It felt really nice to be close to my sisters and actually want to hang out and have fun together.

I celebrated 10 years with my boyfriend.

Such a huge milestone for us both! I used to feel very burdened by the amount of time we’ve shared together, because it felt like the loss would be greater if our relationship ever went to shit. It was such a pessimistic way of seeing the relationship, when I could have been appreciating and being thankful for all the time we’ve had and the bond we share. 2020 was also a year of growth for us, individually and together. With the breakthrough I made with my outlook on life, it massively changed the way I was treating my partner and the relationship. It was for the better of course, and I’m so much happier and at ease with where we are and where I am.

Read also: How I practise self-love in my relationship

I started reading – all 35 books in 2020!

Audiobooks absolutely changed my life in 2020. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the books I’ve “read”. I downloaded Storytel (not an ad LOL) around end 2019 and got into the habit of listening to books whenever I was editing or before bed. I really got hooked! During my month’s sabbatical from work, I put so much time into reading, especially self-help books. I used to be very skeptical of self-help books, but I realised that it’s all about timing. You need to hear certain things during certain periods of your life. I listened to a book called “The Courage to be Disliked” and it opened up my mind so much. I credit a lot of my personal growth last year to what I gained from the book.

35 books may not seem like a lot, but it’s a huge deal to me! I used to love reading as a child, and I’d go to the library all the time. As I got older, I found myself to have less and less time to sit down properly with a book. Now with audiobooks, it’s been so convenient and I get to multitask – which is my ultimate guilty pleasure hahaha. Aiming to break my record of 35 books in 2021!

I fell in love with photography in a whole new way.

My goal was simple in 2020 – To shoot as much as possible. I only set that goal in March when I was on my month’s break, but it was better than nothing! I finally got to appreciate photography for the art form that it was, and I got to experience what it felt like to just create. I found the courage to start messaging people on Instagram who I felt would love to be photographed, and I got to arranging multiple photoshoots during my free month.

Read also: I took a one month sabbatical

During circuit breaker period, I even started experimenting with self-portraits – something I would never have done previously. After Phase 2 started, I began shooting almost every weekend, since my weekdays were occupied with work. It was the best feeling ever to be creating such amazing content with people who also enjoyed the work. So thankful I got to meet people like Rachell and Gladys who I still work with very closely.

I met new, amazing people through photography.

Like what I just mentioned in the previous point, I opened myself up to many new connections and opportunities when I started reaching out to people for shoots. I started collaborating a bunch with creators like Rachell and Gladys. I got to shoot Rachell’s proposal (!), and even did my first styled bridal shoot with her and Isaac. I also got to meet other amazing photographers and vendors in the industry, like Kieran, Natasha, Delia, and Madeline. Everyone’s been so nice and uplifting, and I really feel so happy I’m a part of this creative industry now.

I started Tiktok – which opened up new doors for me.

I never thought I’d say this – I’m a Tiktok creator! I’m so proud of myself for taking that step out and creating content more diligently now as a photographer. I followed in the footsteps of my forever inspiration Marina Williams, and started using Tiktok as a place where I showed behind-the-scenes from my shoots. My priority was just to create, and so I didn’t give myself stress on how the content was doing etc. By some stroke of luck my videos managed to get the attention of many people, who then also followed me on Instagram to support me on my photography journey. So beyond thankful for what that has brought me.

I quit my job.

Yet another big leap for myself in 2020. I’ve had the thought of leaving my job for a long time now, which was why I took a month’s break off work in the first place. It was between going to a different job, or to pursue my photography full-time. I spent the first 3 months of the year feeling really frustrated that I wasn’t good enough to pursue photography full-time, even though I wanted it so badly. I then realised over my month’s break that I could take steps to develop myself better, to fulfil all the potential I wanted to see in myself. I eventually made the decision to quit my job in November and I’m now a full-time photographer! I couldn’t be happier. More to come soon 🙂

I’ll always remember 2020 as a huge turning point in my life.

It’s absolutely surreal how much I’ve changed over this year. Considering I had spent the start of the year feeling so dejected and lowkey depressed, it’s really a full transformation at this point for me. I’ve spent the entire of 2020 unlearning my old toxic habits, thought patterns, and learning how to be kinder with myself. I honestly haven’t felt so liberated before. Most importantly, I’m no longer in the way of my own progress. I don’t allow myself to make pity excuses out of my insecurities or uncertainties anymore.

In 2021, I’m looking forward to accomplishing more milestones and scaling new heights that I didn’t think possible last time.