We’re all a work-in-progress

Yibo and I had an argument recently. And to be honest, I thought that would be the end of our relationship. (It’s 17 June 2019, this isn’t a timely post.)

I’m not going into the details of our fight, but it was triggered by the fact that we needed/wanted some fundamental change in our respective lifestyles for the benefit of our relationship – and for our foreseeable future together.

In the weeks leading up to that fight, our conversation topics had circled career progression, managerial tips, and the like. Think thought leadership posts on LinkedIn, BusinessInsider articles, or whatever self-help books etc. And I kept drawing parallels between our attitude towards work and our relationship – the constant desire to improve ourselves at our jobs, compared against our resistance to change to be a better partner.

And then it clicked.

At work, it’s really straightforward. We’ve got targets to hit, objectives to meet, and goals we want to achieve or even surpass. We want to be great employees, great team players, and great managers. How come these expectations, and our hunger to learn and grow, don’t come as naturally when we’re dealing with our personal relationships?

We’re always trying to separate work and personal life, like the age-old discussion about establishing a healthy work-life balance (which was the topic of our argument btw). But I think it’s only a huge concern when both those commitments start conflicting with each other, which can be solved with better time management and compartmentalising. But in terms of improving or upgrading ourselves for the better, shouldn’t the same theories apply for both work situations, and in your personal relationships?

It’s been more than 9 years since we’ve been together, and we both know that loving someone isn’t easy. Just like the challenges and difficulties we face at our jobs, a relationship also presents a learning curve. We have to navigate different hurdles, find solutions to problems, and make changes, sometimes difficult ones, to better our outcomes. But at the end of the day, don’t we all be better? Both for ourselves, and for each other.

The fact is, we’re all a work-in-progress.

We sat down together and wrote down things we can do better in, like literally in our phone notes. We’ve since done one review with each other, like how employees would do reviews with their managers LOL. (The progress is great, thanks for asking hahaha) It sounds really strange, but at the same time I think it works so long as we’re both agreeable with the method.

I felt like at some point we were so used to each other’s ways, and it kinda stuck. Because it’s been so long, we just took for granted that this is the way things work. You can actually forget to improve yourself, if you’re not paying attention. It doesn’t just apply to your relationship with your partner of course. The role of a daughter, a sister, a friend, an employee, a teammate, etc. Not saying I’ve just realised the importance of self-improvement, but it clicked in my mind how similarly you can judge your work performance, and life performance, and how it’s possible to use the same methods to improve them.

Was I making sense in this piece? Or was I not? I started writing this on the night of 23 July 2019 and it’s now past midnight. It’s been a real productive night typing all these down. But I’m too lazy to proofread and edit now. This shall go up as it is.

Keep improving. We’re all a work-in-progress. Positive vibes only.

All my mottos for 2019.

All the photos were taken on our recent trip to Phuket hehe.